I have a love/hate relationship with scales. I love them when they show me the weight I want to be and I hate them when they show me the weight I don’t want to be.
The one fact I can’t change about scales is that they typically speak truth about what is going on with my body. So every time I step on that scale I have to be ready to see the truth, whether I want to believe it or not.
But there are other truth-telling type scales. The scales that cover us and shield us from the truth. We tend to call them walls or masks, but for Eustace in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (The Chronicles of Narnia series) by C.S. Lewis, they were actually scales. Dragon scales.
Eustace was an annoying little boy. He was selfish, greedy and just a pain to all of those around him. One day, he snuck away from the group. He found himself in a dragon’s lair full of treasures and greedily began thinking of what he could do with all of the gold and eventually fell asleep on the pile of treasures. “Sleeping on a dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.” (C.S. Lewis) Now that he was a real, fire-breathing dragon, Eustace wasn’t worried about anything. No one would mess with him now. But then it hit him. “An appalling loneliness came over him. He began to see that others had not really been friends at all. He began to wonder if he himself had been such a nice person as he had always supposed. ” Pondering all of this, he wept.
He decided to return to the group. He was eventually able to reconnect with his cousins, Edmund and Lucy and convince them that this horrible looking dragon in front of them was actually him, their cousin Eustace. “It was, however, clear to everyone that Eustace’s character had been rather improved by becoming a dragon.” He was now willing to help and even comfort those in the group with his body heat. No matter how much he tried to be different, “he was almost afraid to be alone with himself and yet he was ashamed to be with the others.”
During the night, Aslan (the lion) came to him and said to follow him. Eustace followed him to a huge well with marble steps and the most clear water he had ever seen. Eustace thought he would go into the water but Aslan told him he must undress first. He obviously wasn’t wearing any clothes so he assumed Aslan wanted him to shed some of his scales like a snake. So he proceeded to shed a layer of scales and watched it fall off. Just as he was about to walk into the water, he noticed his skin became hard and scaly again, just like before. He wondered how many more layers of skin he would have to peel off. So he continued the same process another two times. “But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.”
Asland said to him, “You will have to let me undress you.”
He laid down on his back and allowed Aslan to undress him. “The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.” Only seeing the nasty scales pile up beside him gave him pleasure. Aslan then took him and threw him into the clear water where he was transformed back into Eustace, the boy. “After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me – “, “in new clothes.”
“..”From that time forth Eustace was a different boy.” To be strictly accurate, he began to be a different boy. He had relapses. There were still many days when he could be very tiresome. But most of those I shall not notice. The cure had begun.”
As we begin the process of digging deep, of taking off the scales, there are three critical points I want to make first.
- We need our tribe. Any time we begin to look inward and to our past, we will need support, whether it is friends, family, pastors, counselors or a support group. We can’t do this alone (James 5:16). Please read my blog, My Tribe to see the importance of support.
- Our relationship with God is critical to this process. We need to know that our Savior loves us deeply, He will be with us through it all, and that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5b). If you find that your relationship with God is just getting started or in need of renewal, I want to encourage you to wait on this process and devote yourself to strengthening your relationship with the Creator. Because, if we don’t trust God to heal us, then we will get stuck and end up letting our past take us over. He is the ONLY one who can heal the hurts inside of us.
- We can begin the process, but ultimately it needs to be led by the Holy Spirit. We need to invite Him in to the process because “…where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom” (2 Cor. 3:17). Only He knows if you are ready for what lies ahead and what you will need during the process. And we need His insight to see through the walls we have put up. It wasn’t until, Eustace, as the dragon, laid his body (life) down in surrender, was Aslan able to do the deep and hard work within him.
The beginning of our journey begins with an awareness of our need to change.
For Eustace, it took a traumatic event for him to become aware of his negative affect on others. For me, it was my bathroom moment of surrender when I realized I couldn’t control everything, especially my marriage. God laid it on my heart that we needed to go even deeper to heal my hidden wounds and that He had so much more for me. More than I could ever imagine.
Unfortunately, many people believe they do not have any wounds. They grew up in a great family. Nothing traumatic happened to them. They are fine.
However, it is not the size of the wound that matters. It is the size of the lie we believe that drives how we live.
Marcus Warner, Understanding the Wounded Heart
We don’t even realize how our behavior and relationships are impacted by our past wounds, our family of origin, and/or the lies we tell ourselves. We go about life trying to manage our behaviors and emotions without asking the powerful question, WHY?
I want to start us off slow and not dive into the deep end right away. The goal for now is to start asking why. To start being more aware of why we do what we do. To start asking probing questions of what is behind our behavior and emotions. To begin examining the lemons that life gives us instead of putting them aside to make our imitation lemonade.
Let’s begin with our emotions.
One of our greatest obstacles in knowing God is our own lack of self-knowledge.
Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
When you get angry, start asking questions. I wrote a blog called Vitriol at Starbucks that took a look at what could be behind our intense anger. Typically, behind the anger is other emotions. GIFTS is the acronym of emotions. Find out more about those here.
When you overreact to a situation, ask yourself why did I react so intensely to this even though the situation didn’t warrant it? What is it about this situation that touches a nerve?
Pay attention to your body. God has designed our body to alert us to our surroundings. Is your jaw clenched? Does your stomach hurt? Are you shaking? Our body tends to know what is going on with our emotions before we even realize it. Then ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? Then, why am I feeling this way?
Allow yourself to feel your emotions in that moment. Don’t stuff it. Don’t hide it. Allow yourself to experience it. But also be mindful that expressing our emotions doesn’t give us permission to hurt others or sin in the process.
The journey of genuine transformation to emotionally healthy spirituality begins with a commitment to allow yourself to feel.
Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
This is the first layer of scales that we will begin to peel back. As we go through the process we will continue to peel back layers of truth-hiding scales. But ultimately, it will require God’s leading and direction to peel the remaining scales away and transform us from the inside out.
For now, we will just examine those lemons. Feel them. Smell them. Look at them. And ask why.
Someday, with God’s leading and your willingness to surrender everything, you will begin to suck on those sour lemons. You will lay down in surrender and allow Him to tear off the scales. And the truth will be revealed and set free. And you will be transformed. And you will bathe in His joy and love. Trust me, it is SO worth it.
Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalms 139:23
Lord, lead us in the way everlasting. Open the eyes of our hearts to see Truth as You begin to help us tear away the scales. Help us to trust that no matter how hard it gets, You are with us and You want to see us free. We love you! Amen.
I have published a new Book Recommendation page of the books that have been pivotal in my continual transformation journey. Now that you are starting your journey, some of these books may be helpful.
Nice Girl to Warrior Woman 
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